grow a pair of bollocks. i have absolutely no time for you. act your age, not your shoe size and realise there is more in life than the tiny bubble you live in.



rant over.


it’s a funny old world. you think you have your life planned out, then something changes, you adapt and start a new path, it twists and turns, but you just about manage to stay on track. then everything changes again.

it’s about the time i need to start looking at my future. i’m in the perfect job now. it’s something i enjoy, i’m incredibly passionate about and most of all, i think i’m pretty good at it. if i could stay on for another elected term, i would. 

but how do you start looking through the millions of jobs in the world, when you just don’t know what fits with you? i want to wake up each day and love what i do. i want to get excited and fired up and get angry when things don’t go right with my job. 

now i believe in fate, i honestly do. i think everything happens for a reason. i believe when things don’t go quite right then it will lead on to greater things. i believe in ‘the one.’ it is quite hard though to sit back and just let those things happen. how much effort are you supposed to put in? if i don’t try, will nothing i want happen? but if i do try, how do i know what i try for is right? just believe, i guess . . .i do wish someone would just decide for me though.


christmas is here. in my head, it was here a month ago when i heard my first song on the radio. but now, it’s officially here as the coca cola advert was on the television ANDD i got my advent calendar from my mum ANDDD my cousin is playing mary in here school play ANDDDDD i’m dressing up as the stable at our christmas party next week.

yes. excited much?

take 1 girl, 1 boy and tickets to paris and what do you get? a very happy couple that’s what.

ok so we may have travelled in a coach on the way over and we may not have stayed in the poshest, most expensive hotel in the city, but i had the best time. i managed to get metro passes and we were off! we got up early both mornings and took to the streets to start exploring. having not spoken french in a good few years and having a boyfriend who cannot speak a word of it, i was hoping most people in paris spoke english. i was wrong. but i think i survived pretty well! isaacs attempts at french made him friends with a french waiter sporting an impressive moustache who called him ‘baby ‘ but failed to get him the ‘paineee’ he was trying to order. we saw all the sights, walked for miles with coffee and croissants to fuel us! we even waited hours in the queue for the eiffel tower only for the top viewing gallery view to be blocked by clouds! for my first visit to paris, i was hoping to be impressed. but i fell wholeheartedly and completely in love with the cobbled streets, christmas markets, coffee shops, amazing buildings and even the people. i wish i could go back.

there are some things that are pretty easy to make a decision on. today for example, i chose to have toast rather than cereal for breakfast. and to wear my red pants, rather than the blue ones. these decisions affect no one other than myself. some decisions have more of a consequence than others. i chose to have 5 minutes extra in bed which resulted in me being 30 minutes late to work due to traffic and therefore late to a meeting. (also, heavily influenced by the incompetent t**t who chose to drive like a blind man purely to annoy me i’m sure.)

so when you have a situation which you just don’t know what to do with, how do you decide? do you toss a coin? or pick a straw? but when something massive could come of it, is tossing a coin really good enough? if you weigh up the pros and cons, there will always be legitimate reasons for both. either way someone is going to be upset. and what happens if you really want to do both? i know in my heart which one i want to be at, but the experience gained from the other is priceless.

when it comes down to it, it’s my own fault really. i said yes to both, misunderstanding when one of them was. as a result, both thought i was committed to them and only just this Monday did i realise the clash. it’s my own fault really.i caused this.just me. that makes it even harder to decide.